I’m happy that today was National Coming Out Day! This has been an incredible year for LGBT rights and I hope that this is just the beginning. If you didn’t know, National Coming Out Day started 27 years ago on the anniversary of the National March on Washington for LGBT rights. Coming out is more powerful than you might think. Not only does it show society that you to are comfortable and proud to be who you are, it inspires others to not be afraid to be themselves, and unifies our community. Everyone should be proud of who they are and who they love. I would love to hear about your coming out story, leave me a comment here or on Facebook. Hopefully these coming out stories can inspire others. Also, if you have not come out yet, there will be a right time to do it, just know that there are people who are ready to support you.
I’m 24 years old, but coming out has still been a long process. I grew up in a Jamaican/American household, and most people know that in Jamaica, LGBT people are lynched and gang banged openly, even by the police force, and so many homeless youth are forced to live in sewers because there is no place for them to go.
The most positive part of the process was the beginning, at the end of my junior year in high school. I was still in denial that I liked a guy, but a friend just gave me one look and I was like erm, okay I guess I’m infatuated, but I still didn’t think that it made me non-gender normative. Then the person I liked came out to me, and that’s when it all clicked. I started to write music and poetry all about him, even though it never worked out. I really put myself on the spotlight when I performed one of the songs at the school’s talent show during my senior year, right before prom, and everyone there loved it.
But at home it was something of a different process.
On my mother’s side, the American side, everyone knew except for her. My senior year of high school she took me to a therapist, who attempted to do gender correction therapy, which caused a super long rift between me and my mother, so I never felt like I could trust her for a long time.
Since my dad was Jamaican, I never came out to him or his side of the family. Regardless, a few months before I graduated from college, he disowned me because he was suspicious that I like guys. It was at that point that I was struggling the most with suicide because on top of that I still didn’t have a job lined up, and the guy I was seeing was leading me on, while he was claiming to be straight and seeing one of my female friends.
But this past summer I was dancing in New York, and I took the opportunity to confront my mom about the therapist. Turned out that she had no idea that he was doing that. It’s taking me a long time to unlearn that mistrust I have for her, but it’s coming along.
I can say, over all, that coming out is never as simple as “Mom, dad, guess what.” It’s a series of events that fortify us as people. It’s a long lesson in survival and endurance. Coming out is admitting to yourself that you’re different, and being honest with yourself first can open the door to self-love that is incredibly special. It can be hard to find that self-love, especially when society teaches us not to, and we have a very unique line of baggage as non-gendered or -sexually “normative” people, but when you do you realise how liberating it is to love yourself in spite of what other people do or say.
You’re right its never simple to come out but reading your story was a big insight and I’m glad you’re staying strong.
Happy National Coming Out Day. It is nice to see a great holiday. It would be interested to see if National Coming Out Day appear in future video and show a positive way to come out to family and friend.
I’ve started to realize how coming out is almost something that you do daily when you meet new people, but it is definitely easier than when I was first coming out. I came out to my friends in January 2004 months before my 18th birthday (as bisexual at that time). My friends were immediately accepting and I felt like I had nothing to hide from anyone really, though I never really came out to any of my peers in school. It wasn’t until I came out to my mom at 19 a year later in August 2005 that I felt a sort of freedom because this is who I wanted to accept me most of all. Now that 10 years have passed and I’m 29 years old, things seem to have brightened up for me, sexuality wise. It’s a good thing. 😀
That’s awesome! Hoping that your happiness is just the beginning! 🙂
I appreciate that, Peter! Thanks! 😀